Twenty three

Another year hallelujah

Jul 12, 2026

“Like a bird I sing hallelujah into the air. And my song belongs to no one. But no passion suffered in pain and love is not followed by a hallelujah.”

-Clarice Lispector

On my birthday I picked a handful of blackberries, drove to “office fun day,” went shopping with my mother during this week’s daily evening thunderstorm, then ate my brother’s homemade cheesecake and watched Hamnet with my family and cried twice. A very good birthday.

Twenty three will be a big year for me. I am starting a job as an English teacher this fall, which is a significant career change for me. This year I plan to get married and then move to D.C. My life a puzzle that I’m completing with pieces I’ve never seen before. But I’ve always believed in big changes, in following the opportunities presented to me.

I’m getting older and there are some small signs like the four or five white hairs growing from the front left side of my head. That’s okay, I suppose. I feel very grown up with all these changes in my life. If last year I was holding the hand of my teenage self then this year I am brushing her fingertips.

This will be my third year writing a birthday wishlist. It’s something that has become sacred to me because over the past two years I’ve been miraculously gifted everything I asked for. I’ve learned that when you start viewing small things like a handful of blackberries or a sunny window as gifts, you suddenly find yourself receiving more gifts. Even beyond the list, I’ve gained so much that I would never have thought to ask for.

For this next year, most of all I just want to be kinder. I want to love more. I gave a mango to my neighbor, we had never spoken before. She doesn’t speak English. When I gave her the mango she took my hand in hers, and now language doesn’t matter anymore. She greets me like an old friend in our shared driveway.